A Child's Need for Competence

When my daughter, Sarah, was about one year old and learning to walk, she was very determined to get this “walking” thing down.  She would fall again and again.  At first, I reached out to her offering sympathy and encouragement, but before I could even get out the words, she was up and off again, without a tear.  She was moving on to the next exciting thing in her life! 

A third basic emotional need of children is to feel capable, to have a sense of competence, a “can-do” attitude.  As children grow and spread their wings, trying new things on their own, they develop confidence in themselves and their abilities.  When setbacks happen, they pick themselves up and continue on.  They have hope for the next time.

Parents play an important role in helping children learn to feel competent.  When you set your children free to explore and try new and even difficult things, you are communicating, “We believe that you can do this.”  On the other hand, if you shelter your children and don’t let them take risks, you actually communicate a lack of confidence in them.  Don’t do everything for them—let them step out and try, explore, and even fail.  The Holy Spirit will give you wisdom in how to guide your children in developing a healthy sense of competence.

What is something you can do this week to challenge your children?  To set them free to risk?

Psalm 24:16a  “For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again…”

Phil. 4:13  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”