Intentional Marriage & Family--part 3

Being intentional in our marriage and with our children causes us to think before taking action.  That’s a good thing!  Thinking through our COMMUNICATION will help to avoid (or at least minimize) conflict.  Several questions to consider asking ourselves include why, what and how we communicate. 

Why should we be so concerned about our communication?  It encompasses every aspect of our relationship and can either destroy or build up.  Therefore, we should check our heart and make sure we’re “on the same team” before opening our mouth.  Our desire should be to mutually come to a resolve, for the benefit of both persons. 

What should I say? or not say?  Sometimes the most powerful message is the lack of words, meaning we put thought into what we say before it comes out of our mouth.  This gives us time to calm our emotions, instead of blasting the other person.  “Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” James 1:19

How should I express myself?  Timing can be everything!  Choose a time to talk when there will be no (few?) interruptions and both of you can focus on the discussion.  Choose an appropriate location, hopefully a private place.  Let the other person know by your body language and tone of voice that you want to hear what they have to say and settle things peacefully. 

Communication, when used effectively, is a positive and significant force in your relationship with your husband...and with your children. 

Phil 2:2  “Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose...let each of you regard one another as more important than himself(herself).”

Intentional Marriage & Family -- part 2

Picking up from last week, the second strength of a healthy marriage is COMMITMENT.  Before Dave and I knew what the future would bring us, I said these vows to Dave at our wedding, “I, Tami, take you Dave, to be my wedded husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.”  (Dave said the same vows to me.)  Little did I know that we would experience all of these things.  The only thing that kept us together at times, was our commitment to each other before God, believing that He could bring good out of any situation we faced.  He did.  And He still does.

In the same way, our commitment as parents to our children is the strength of our family.  Commitment shows we love them, come what may.  It shows we have their best interest at heart.  Just as we can always count on God and His commitment to us, we want our children to know that they can count on us to love them, no matter what. 

Through our love and commitment, we have the opportunity to teach our children that they are significant, and also that they can be secure in the community of our family.  Parent (verb) with the view that you’re raising some of the deepest relationships of your life.

Hebrews 13:5  “I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.”