KINDNESS

Have you ever noticed how it’s easier to be kinder to a stranger than to your own family?  We want other people to think good of us, so we try and give them a good impression.  On the other hand, our family knows us, the good and the bad, the wonderful and the ugly.  Kindness...it is one of the most important character traits you can teach your child.  It is an expression of love.  A fruit of the Spirit.  It involves thinking of others as more important.

My two youngest girls loved to play “dress up” when they were little.  One of their favorite scenarios was pretending to be poor people.  One daughter would act like a poor person on the street, begging for food.  The other daughter would pretend to be a passerby, giving money, food, friendship, or help to the “poor person”.  They loved practicing kindness!  In real life, it took a bit more work than that, but they got the idea! 

Kindness shows up in the smallest of ways, yet can have a great impact.  Mom, how are you doing at practicing kindness with your child?  How about playing a game of “who can be the kindest person today?” 

Prov 31:26b “The teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

I Cor 13:4  “Love is kind.”

Eph 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

A Child's Need for Competence

When my daughter, Sarah, was about one year old and learning to walk, she was very determined to get this “walking” thing down.  She would fall again and again.  At first, I reached out to her offering sympathy and encouragement, but before I could even get out the words, she was up and off again, without a tear.  She was moving on to the next exciting thing in her life! 

A third basic emotional need of children is to feel capable, to have a sense of competence, a “can-do” attitude.  As children grow and spread their wings, trying new things on their own, they develop confidence in themselves and their abilities.  When setbacks happen, they pick themselves up and continue on.  They have hope for the next time.

Parents play an important role in helping children learn to feel competent.  When you set your children free to explore and try new and even difficult things, you are communicating, “We believe that you can do this.”  On the other hand, if you shelter your children and don’t let them take risks, you actually communicate a lack of confidence in them.  Don’t do everything for them—let them step out and try, explore, and even fail.  The Holy Spirit will give you wisdom in how to guide your children in developing a healthy sense of competence.

What is something you can do this week to challenge your children?  To set them free to risk?

Psalm 24:16a  “For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again…”

Phil. 4:13  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

A Child's Need For Worth - Personal Value

We learned that a sense of belonging comes from feeling loved and accepted.  Similarly, a sense of worth comes from feeling valued.  Kids yearn for their parents’ love and approval.  If they don’t feel accepted by mom and dad, children assume that something’s wrong with them, or that they’re not good enough to be loved.  When our child has done something wrong, we can seize it as an opportunity to teach them that even though they have done what is wrong, we still love them.

As followers of Jesus, we are valuable because God values us.  First, He creates us in His image.  This means we are priceless!  Then He forgives us and gives us new life in Him.  What a beautiful picture of how valuable each of us is to God!

In a tangible way, the parent-child relationship is a learning lab of God’s relationship with us.  As we love and accept our children, in spite of their (and our) wrongs and failures, they experience a sense of their personal value.  Then our children know that we believe in them, and they can see themselves as valuable.  This paves the way for them to understand that they are valuable to God. 

We hold the key to our child’s sense of worth.  What are some ways we can demonstrate to them how valuable they are?

Psalm 139:17-18  “How precious also are Thy thoughts to me, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand…”