What
a delight it was to raise our four daughters...most of the time! It’s amazing that they all four came from Dave and I,
the same mom and dad, yet they are so different from each other—in their
personality, preferences, perspectives, etc. The trap I found myself in was believing that
they were seeing life just like I was.
I remember I was helping our 9 year-old daughter, with her homework. I would read the question, and she would give the answer. Then came an "aha!" moment for me. I read the question. She gave the "wrong" answer, or at least the "expected" answer from the book's perspective . It was then I realized that she interpreted the question differently. She heard and understood it from a different point of view. It dawned on me that her answer made total sense. I had to think outside of my box, to understand her totally valid perspective.
How can it be that even though I taught our daughters about life, they each had their own unique perspective? And the way they saw things was not necessarily "wrong"--just different. I found that I was “correcting” them because they were not doing things "my way". Then I realized the issue was not about doing something wrong. It was about me wanting to be in control...about things that really didn’t matter in the big picture. My girls were acting out of their personality and perspective, which was different from mine. I had a whole lot of learning to do once I realized that. It was humbling, and difficult. It was s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g. Once I learned this, I found myself tuning in more to their way of communicating. As I was pliable, my daughter’s and I grew closer. I understood them more by seeing things from their perspective. And, it brought more calm to our relationship. Yes, God uses our children to teach us and change us.
I remember I was helping our 9 year-old daughter, with her homework. I would read the question, and she would give the answer. Then came an "aha!" moment for me. I read the question. She gave the "wrong" answer, or at least the "expected" answer from the book's perspective . It was then I realized that she interpreted the question differently. She heard and understood it from a different point of view. It dawned on me that her answer made total sense. I had to think outside of my box, to understand her totally valid perspective.
How can it be that even though I taught our daughters about life, they each had their own unique perspective? And the way they saw things was not necessarily "wrong"--just different. I found that I was “correcting” them because they were not doing things "my way". Then I realized the issue was not about doing something wrong. It was about me wanting to be in control...about things that really didn’t matter in the big picture. My girls were acting out of their personality and perspective, which was different from mine. I had a whole lot of learning to do once I realized that. It was humbling, and difficult. It was s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g. Once I learned this, I found myself tuning in more to their way of communicating. As I was pliable, my daughter’s and I grew closer. I understood them more by seeing things from their perspective. And, it brought more calm to our relationship. Yes, God uses our children to teach us and change us.
