Getting Un-Stuck (part 3 of 3): Follow the Leader

Getting un-stuck involves layers of revealing and healing.  Getting un-stuck depends on how I perceive my situation ...am I looking at it from my point of view, or God’s point of view?  Am I moving toward a hopeful attitude?

Another aspect of getting un-stuck is to “follow the Leader”, like the game we play as children.  Our Father in heaven is the Leader, and as we imitate Him, change is possible.  Through the Bible, God teaches us.  He shows us where we’re going wrong and how to correct it, and He trains us and equips us for every good work we do.

“All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.”  II Timothy 3:16-17

What’s the process?

Read the Bible, talk with God.  When He shows you what to change, do it.  Take off the old, and put on the new.  Think of the new as a stylish outfit.  Take off the drab, old clothes, and put on stylin’ clothes...the clothes of new life! 

Here are some examples of how to change:

^“22 that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, ²³ and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, ²⁴ and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

²⁵ Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. ²⁶ Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, ²⁷ and do not give the devil an opportunity. ²⁸ He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. ²⁹ Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. ³⁰ Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³² Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”  Ephesians 4:22-32

You can do it!  You're set FREE!

Getting Un-Stuck (part 2): What Do You See?

I remember the day I got contact lenses.  I was in high school at the time.  As I drove home from the optometrist’s office, wearing the lenses, I distinctly remember seeing individual leaves on the trees.  I was in awe!  They were beautiful!!  In fact, everything I saw was crystal clear!  I saw the whiskers on my cat, bugs in the garden, and I could recognize people across the room—with their facial expressions!  That night, when I looked up into the night sky, I noticed individual stars for the first time in a long time.  What a difference my new lenses made...not only in what I saw, but I also found myself more excited about life!  I felt like a new person, looking forward to what I would discover next.

There are times in our life when we get clobbered with uninvited circumstances.  Bad things happen.  We start to worry, be fearful, get angry, or all of the above.  As we react negatively to these situations over and over, our thoughts become false beliefs (lies), i.e., “I always have bad luck”, “God is against me”, etc.  When we believe and act out on these beliefs, our mind reinforces the negative things we say, our feelings get out of control, and we start spiraling down into a pit.  How can we break the cycle of negative thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions?

Start at the beginning...by looking at the circumstance with new lenses...from God’s perspective—what He sees.  We need to tell ourselves the truth.  Read what God says about us—how much He loves us, He never leaves us, He gives us strength, courage and wisdom...  Give Him our worry, fear, disappointment, anger, etc.  Imagine how God can take our situation and make something good out of it.  If we can’t “see” the good now, believe that it will happen.  And then our feelings will start to change, and our actions reflect that.  We will find hope in God and climb out of the pit.

On our own we walk around with fuzzy vision, and don’t even realize it.  We think it’s normal.  That we’re doing okay.  But when we get hit upside the head, that’s the time to put on God’s specs and see what He sees...in us, in our situation, in the hope He has for our future.  His scriptures always give clarity.  Hope.  New life. Even excitement.  And others will notice and trust in the Lord!

Psalm 40:1-3

“I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear
And will trust in the Lord.”

Getting Un-Stuck (part 1): Develop a Hopeful Attitude

          I remember when the girls were in elementary school—somewhere around 1^st grade up through the indomitable  junior high years.  One day, I just couldn’t handle it anymore.  I felt like I was going crazy.  I distinctly remember feeling like I was stuck on a merry-go-round—and it wasn’t fun.  It felt like I was going ‘round and ‘round, faster and faster, and I couldn’t get off...no matter how hard I tried.  That merry-go-round had piles of “things to do” on it with tentacles that bound me.  I felt stuck...that nothing could change.  It affected everything.  There were no answers.  No one understood.  And I couldn’t do anything about it. 

            The truth was...there were answers.  Being stuck is not really affecting e-v-e-r-y-thing, just specific things.  And even if no person understood me, God did.  And He had answers.  Hope.  Change was possible.  I could do something about it.

            When I stopped to think about the factors that made up this merry-go-round ride, I listed them out, one by one, naming them.  Then I took each culprit, one at a time, and dissected why I was “stuck” at each point.  Focusing on one thing at a time made me feel like I could tackle it—without being overwhelmed.  It also made me notice that not EVERYTHING is on this merry-go-round.

            Then I realized that these factors are not permanent.  Some may be here for a day or so, some for a week or a month, and some maybe for a year or more.  But they won’t be around forever!

            And, change IS possible.  Pray about it.  Ask God how you can change your situation. Even if you can’t change the actual circumstances, you can change your attitude toward them.  Put on a different perspective that says, “I won’t be in this forever, it’s just for now.  I can make the best of it by looking for the good and being grateful for what I can.”  And ask God what you can learn from it.

            My merry-go-round eventually slowed down, and I was able to re-focus and re-energize.  I no longer felt “stuck” in a dizzying cycle of spinning around and around.  Thankfully, life usually comes to us in seasons, just like the weather.  So if you’re feeling stuck right now, just wait and pretty soon you’ll get un-stuck.  Then enjoy it while it lasts!

Learning--an act of worship

Have you ever thought of education as an act of worship?  God cares what we learn and put into our minds.  He definitely cares what we teach our children, and what we allow to enter their minds.  There’s a children’s song that goes, “Oh be careful little eyes what you see, Oh be careful little eyes what you see, For the Father up above is looking down in love, Oh be careful little eyes what you see.”  Verse 2 says, “Oh be careful little ears what you hear...” and so on.  The thoughts we dwell on affect our mind, which affect our emotions, which affect our actions.  Learning, or education, is more than facts.  It gives us a perspective on life, even from a very young age.

What would you say is the most important thing for your child to learn?  I would answer that with “learning about God”.  How easy it is to teach our children about God—through His very own creation.   When we look at ourselves as being made in God’s image, we learn about Him, ourselves, and humanity. 

Creation brings awe, wonder and worship.  The universe invites us to know God.  The more we know about creation, the more we learn about Him.  When we meet Him, our core is changed and we see life differently because He is Life.

Early scientists sought God through creation.  The foundations of science are in creation.  How can we teach our children about God through creation?

1)  Look at creation (universe, earth’s water, land, animals, plants...).  Observe it.

2)  Understand and appreciate the intricacies, patterns, etc.

3)  Look for how creation explains God

4)  Look for things in creation that are in the Bible

5)  Pursue knowledge of God through creation in every day life

There’s a lot of information in this day and age.  It can be overwhelming to figure out what school to put your child in, or what to teach them.  Start...and continue...with how creation describes God.  It will be a daily reminder for you as well!

(bold verses are from me)

Psalm 111

Praise the Lord!
I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart,
In the company of the upright and in the assembly.
² Great are the works of the Lord;
They are studied by all who delight in them.
³Splendid and majestic is His work,
And His righteousness endures forever.
⁴ He has made His wonders to be remembered;
The Lord is gracious and compassionate.
⁵ He has given food to those who fear Him;
He will remember His covenant forever.
⁶ He has made known to His people the power of His works,
In giving them the heritage of the nations.

⁷ The works of His hands are truth and justice;
All His precepts are sure.
⁸ They are upheld forever and ever;
They are performed in truth and uprightness.
⁹ He has sent redemption to His people;
He has ordained His covenant forever;
Holy and awesome is His name.
¹⁰ The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;
His praise endures forever.

Proverbs 25:2

...the glory of kings is to search out a matter.

Pressure Cooker

Have you ever seen a pressure cooker?  I saw my grandma use one when I was growing up.  It actually scared me because steam would shoot out the lid, and the top knob would noisily shake and rattle.  Sometimes it would even whistle!

There are days when, as a mom, I felt just like that pot!  Pressure was growing inside, minute by minute, until it felt like steam would shoot out my ears!  If there were a “pressure-o-meter” attached to you, what would it register? Low-grade? Simmering? Boiling? Exploding?  

Matt 6:34 says, “Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Since “trouble” is expected on a daily basis, let’s figure out some ways of coping with these pressures, even if it's just for 5 minutes.

1)  Count to 10...slowly.

2)  Take a mental vacation.  Dream of someplace beautiful you've been to, or would like to visit.

3)  Take a break.

4)  Do something you enjoy. 

5)  Talk with a friend.

6)  Rest.  Sleep.

7)  Take your kids to a park, or a fun place.

8)  Read a magazine.

9)  Watch something funny. 

10) Listen to music you like.

11) Meditate. Pray.

12) Take a walk. Exercise.

The Apostle Paul had his own pressures.  He heard God tell him, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.” (II Cor 12:9, The Message)

Paul said that he would rather boast about his troubles, so that the power of Christ would live in him.  The only way he could get through the day was by focusing on Jesus, and letting His strength over-shadow his troubles.

So the next time you feel the pressure rising, remember God’s grace can bring your pressure down.  When you feel like you can’t go on anymore, or you feel weak, God’s power is right there, being perfected in you.  Talk to Him.  Tell Him what you’re feeling, and ask for His grace to pour over you.  Relax in Him, and let your “pressure-o-meter” take a nose-dive!

Dad's Day

I love Father’s Day!  We typically take a picture of the kids and dad to remember Father’s Day.  Several of my favorite shots are framed and set around the house.  These photos remind me of the special relationship my husband and children have with each other.  It can be quite different than my relationship with them.  While I tend to nurture and comfort them, he challenges them to risk and dream.  I tend to have an understated soft touch, while he expresses love in dramatic ways.  When they were little, I would let them play “safely”, while he would play rough and tumble.  There was never a doubt about their father’s love for them.  It was sure and strong, somehow conveyed through his physical strength and expressive personality. 

Each year when Father's Day rolls around, I am reminded of how grateful I am for my heavenly Father.  He loves me with His perfect love.  He will never let me down.  And, while my children’s father is not perfect, he is the man designed and chosen to be their father.  He loves them like no one else can.  He gives them a glimpse of what our heavenly Father’s love is like.  One of the greatest gifts I can give my children is to love their father, to support and encourage him, and to show them what a healthy marriage is like.

Take a close look at your relationship with your husband. 

How can you express love and respect to your husband in his love language?  What can you say/do this week to strengthen your marriage?  You’ll be investing not only in your relationship with him, but also your children’s future, as they see your healthy marriage.

“Wives, adapt yourselves to your own husbands as a service to the Lord…and let the wife see that she respects her husband [that she regards him, honors him, and esteems him; and that she loves and admires him].”  Eph 5:22, 33 

The Best Is Yet To Come

The Artisan Soul by Erwin McManus

Ch. 7 “Masterpiece: A New Humanity”

Life is the art form that is most valuable.

We are going to take a mental trip into the future.  Imagine 5 years from now. 

How old are your kids?

What are they doing?

What is their personality like?  Character?

What are you doing?

Now imagine 10 yrs into the future.

What leaves an impression in your mind?  What do you want to see in each child’s life? In your life?

Now is the time to start moving towards those ideals.  What can you start/continue doing now as you aim towards that future target?  Set annual goals in different areas of your child’s life—physical, social, educational, spiritual, emotional—that you would like to see them be exposed to &/or learn.

Deut 6:4-7  “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! ⁵ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. ⁶ These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”

p. 171  “Michelangelo once said, ‘In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action.  I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.’”

Like Michelango, do you have an image of your child in the future?  How can you “hew away” the rough areas and help them mature?  How can you help them grow in the fruit of the Spirit?

Galatians 5:22-23  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control...”

p. 172  “We know we’ve seen a work of art when a life inspires us to be more – to live more fully and authentically.”

Who has inspired you in your role as a mom?  Who do you think of contacting when you wonder how to solve a “mom/child” problem?

p. 174  “This is how Jesus chose to introduce himself to the world...” (turning water into wine at a local wedding)...”It all begins at a wedding.  A celebration is taking place.  I imagine there was dancing and drinking and laughter.  It is nice to know that Jesus spent time enjoying experiences like this.”

“Surely God has more important concerns than our enjoyment of life.  But it’s not outside God’s intention or his desire to meet us in the common places of everyday life.  And it’s possible that the same God who makes the blind see finds equal pleasure in increasing our happiness.”(!!!!-my addition)

Do you believe God wants you to be happy? To enjoy life?

p. 176-177   “Everything we create reveals who we are....When our souls are informed by human emotions that reflect the worst in us, we find ourselves creating a world that not even we ourselves would ever want to live in...But when the human spirit is shaped by the highest human virtues...we create a beautiful world.” “...Part of this journey is learning how to turn the water into wine.”

How do you cope in times of stress?  (glass of wine, pray, forgive myself, talk w/child and ask their forgiveness, get advice from someone who can help

p. 182-3  “We teach children convergent thinking and discourage divergent thinking.  Our entire educational system is built on convergent thinking.  Education has been reduced to the organization and dispensing of data...You only have to be a parent to know that children are naturally imaginative and creative and that a huge part of parenting is teaching children to color within the lines.”

How do you encourage your child’s natural imagination and creativity?  Are you inspired to be more creative because of them?  Do you remember childhood dreams you had?  Teach them to think by asking “why”.

p. 184  “Einstein noted, ‘The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.’”

p. 188 “The artisan soul believes in the best in all of us, and therefore refuses to accept anything less for themselves.”

This sentence pretty much summarizes the book.

Do you believe in the best for your child? For yourself?

Start believing at the feet of Jesus:

Luke 10:38-42 “ ³⁸ Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” ⁴¹ But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; ⁴² but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.’”

Spend time with Jesus, even if it’s a few minutes every day.

Prayer

Jesus, may my life be a work of art, and may I always live as an artist at work, in whatever I do, always learning and giving.  Amen.