Temper Tantrums

Have you ever seen an adult throw a temper tantrum?  It’s not pretty.  We call it fancy names like, “I was supposed to get that,” or “I really wanted it,” or “I deserved that, but didn’t get it!”  It’s anger on steroids.  We’ve all been there, done that.  And, hopefully moved on to maturity!

What’s a mom to do when her child has a temper tantrum? —especially in public?  --when emotional intensity has peaked out, and mom’s emotions may not be far behind? Here are some things I tried at these tenuous moments:

1)   Decide that temper tantrums are not allowed.  If you’re child is old enough to understand, tell him/her that “our family does not do this”.

2)   Before your child’s emotions reach this intensity, try and calm them down.  Be calm yourself, first!  Take a 5-minute time-out to calm down.

3)   Try to avoid and steer away from things that trigger their/your emotions.

4)   If you know something is going to happen that might upset them, prepare them in advance.  Have something they can look forward to.  “Daddy is going to leave for work in a few minutes.  Let’s give him a hug and thank him for working so hard.  Then we’ll wave goodbye and have some breakfast.”

5)   Provide an alternative to what is causing them to move toward getting out of control...a distraction, a different activity, a change in the conversation, etc.
6)  Help your child find other (constructive) ways of expressing their emotions.

7)   There will be times that discipline needs to enter the picture for them to change their attitude and behavior (most of the time)! 

Helping your child learn to control their emotions will not only bring peace to them, but also to the family!  As they grow older, discover what works for the season that they are in.  Also, some children are more emotional than others, and will be more challenging.  The upside is, they can be very affectionate and loving.  As you continue to learn what makes them tick, be a step ahead of their thinking, and help guide them into what is good and best for them.

On those days when nothing seems to be working, I whisper, “God, just help me get through this,” and pray that tomorrow is a better day!