Discipline (wk 4) -- More Tips

Here are some tips for disciplining in love.  Most of these apply to younger children, but some are effective for all ages:

1~Establish boundaries.  Talk with them about what is not permissible (wrong actions, bad attitudes).  Ask younger children if they have ideas, too.  They would probably love to voice their opinion!

2~Discuss the consequences of wrong behavior and attitudes so they know in advance what action you will take.  The consequence should be more “costly” than the wrong behavior in order to help bring about change.  Your child may have some ideas about this, too.

3~Before you discipline them, make sure they understand what offense they are committing.  Have them tell you what wrong they have done, and what the consequence is (from what you have already discussed).

4~Decide to take whatever time is necessary to deal with the issue, whether it’s a few minutes or hours.

5~Deal with the issue right away, or as soon as possible.

6~When your child tests the boundaries, stick to them, don’t waver!  If you’re consistent, they know what to expect.  In this way, you’re actually letting them know you love them!

7~Keep your cool!  Don’t take action to discipline your child when you’re angry.  I know...it’s easy to say, hard to do.  If you need to, give yourself a short time-out to calm down first, or ask your spouse if he/she can handle the matter. 

Eph. 6:4  “Fathers (and Mothers), do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Col. 3:21 “Fathers (and Mothers), do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”

8~Check for a repentant heart in your child after you discipline them.  If a child is still stubborn, repeat the discipline, until they change their heart and attitude.

9~Wrap up your time of discipline with prayer.  Have your child ask Jesus to forgive them for (name the specific wrong).  This makes things right with God.  Then have them ask forgiveness of any person they’ve wronged.  This helps prevent bitterness or resentment.

Discipline is messy.  Even with structure and boundaries, it bleeds over the lines.  And it’s usually filled with emotion.  Ask God for wisdom, and He will give it to you.  Let “love” be your guide.  Put yourself in their shoes, and you might gain a better perspective.  

You will do a great job!