How Do I Love Thee? (Not Me)

This past week LOVE was in the air!  Whenever Valentine’s Day came around, we would give our girls cards and candy—not to spoil them but because it was another chance to remind them how much we love them.  We continue this “act of love” to this day, even though they are adults!  One of the questions I kept asking myself as my girls were growing up is, “How can I love them with their own distinct uniquenesses?”  How can your children know that they are loved?  Is it possible to think you’re loving your children, when you’re really only loving yourself? or trying to fill a void in your own life? 

Gary Chapman wrote a book about five “love languages”.  See if you can figure out the most meaningful way your child receives love; and then love them in their language.

Words of affirmation – Compliments and words of encouragement mean the world to this person.  Hearing the words, “I love you” are very important, as well as the reasons why you love them.

Quality time – Full and undivided attention, eyeball to eyeball, says “I love you” like nothing else.  Being there, fully engaged, without interruption or distractions is important to this person.

Receiving gifts – Unlike materialism, this person thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.  The perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, cared for, and prized.

Acts of service – Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibility or work for this person will speak volumes.  They love to hear the words, “Let me do that for you.”

Physical touch – Hugs, a pat on the back, thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face are all expressions that show concern, care and love.  Your physical presence and accessibility mean a lot.

If you have a hard time figuring out your child’s love language, notice how they love other people, and that is most likely their love language!  Be ready to speak a love language different than your own.

I Cor. 13:8  “Love never fails.”