Pressure Cooker

Have you ever seen a pressure cooker?  I saw my grandma use one when I was growing up.  It actually scared me because steam would shoot out the lid, and the top knob would noisily shake and rattle.  Sometimes it would even whistle!

There are days when, as a mom, I felt just like that pot!  Pressure was growing inside, minute by minute, until it felt like steam would shoot out my ears!  If there were a “pressure-o-meter” attached to you, what would it register? Low-grade? Simmering? Boiling? Exploding?  

Matt 6:34 says, “Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Since “trouble” is expected on a daily basis, let’s figure out some ways of coping with these pressures, even if it's just for 5 minutes.

1)  Count to 10...slowly.

2)  Take a mental vacation.  Dream of someplace beautiful you've been to, or would like to visit.

3)  Take a break.

4)  Do something you enjoy. 

5)  Talk with a friend.

6)  Rest.  Sleep.

7)  Take your kids to a park, or a fun place.

8)  Read a magazine.

9)  Watch something funny. 

10) Listen to music you like.

11) Meditate. Pray.

12) Take a walk. Exercise.

The Apostle Paul had his own pressures.  He heard God tell him, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.” (II Cor 12:9, The Message)

Paul said that he would rather boast about his troubles, so that the power of Christ would live in him.  The only way he could get through the day was by focusing on Jesus, and letting His strength over-shadow his troubles.

So the next time you feel the pressure rising, remember God’s grace can bring your pressure down.  When you feel like you can’t go on anymore, or you feel weak, God’s power is right there, being perfected in you.  Talk to Him.  Tell Him what you’re feeling, and ask for His grace to pour over you.  Relax in Him, and let your “pressure-o-meter” take a nose-dive!

Dad's Day

I love Father’s Day!  We typically take a picture of the kids and dad to remember Father’s Day.  Several of my favorite shots are framed and set around the house.  These photos remind me of the special relationship my husband and children have with each other.  It can be quite different than my relationship with them.  While I tend to nurture and comfort them, he challenges them to risk and dream.  I tend to have an understated soft touch, while he expresses love in dramatic ways.  When they were little, I would let them play “safely”, while he would play rough and tumble.  There was never a doubt about their father’s love for them.  It was sure and strong, somehow conveyed through his physical strength and expressive personality. 

Each year when Father's Day rolls around, I am reminded of how grateful I am for my heavenly Father.  He loves me with His perfect love.  He will never let me down.  And, while my children’s father is not perfect, he is the man designed and chosen to be their father.  He loves them like no one else can.  He gives them a glimpse of what our heavenly Father’s love is like.  One of the greatest gifts I can give my children is to love their father, to support and encourage him, and to show them what a healthy marriage is like.

Take a close look at your relationship with your husband. 

How can you express love and respect to your husband in his love language?  What can you say/do this week to strengthen your marriage?  You’ll be investing not only in your relationship with him, but also your children’s future, as they see your healthy marriage.

“Wives, adapt yourselves to your own husbands as a service to the Lord…and let the wife see that she respects her husband [that she regards him, honors him, and esteems him; and that she loves and admires him].”  Eph 5:22, 33 

The Best Is Yet To Come

The Artisan Soul by Erwin McManus

Ch. 7 “Masterpiece: A New Humanity”

Life is the art form that is most valuable.

We are going to take a mental trip into the future.  Imagine 5 years from now. 

How old are your kids?

What are they doing?

What is their personality like?  Character?

What are you doing?

Now imagine 10 yrs into the future.

What leaves an impression in your mind?  What do you want to see in each child’s life? In your life?

Now is the time to start moving towards those ideals.  What can you start/continue doing now as you aim towards that future target?  Set annual goals in different areas of your child’s life—physical, social, educational, spiritual, emotional—that you would like to see them be exposed to &/or learn.

Deut 6:4-7  “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! ⁵ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. ⁶ These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”

p. 171  “Michelangelo once said, ‘In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action.  I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.’”

Like Michelango, do you have an image of your child in the future?  How can you “hew away” the rough areas and help them mature?  How can you help them grow in the fruit of the Spirit?

Galatians 5:22-23  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control...”

p. 172  “We know we’ve seen a work of art when a life inspires us to be more – to live more fully and authentically.”

Who has inspired you in your role as a mom?  Who do you think of contacting when you wonder how to solve a “mom/child” problem?

p. 174  “This is how Jesus chose to introduce himself to the world...” (turning water into wine at a local wedding)...”It all begins at a wedding.  A celebration is taking place.  I imagine there was dancing and drinking and laughter.  It is nice to know that Jesus spent time enjoying experiences like this.”

“Surely God has more important concerns than our enjoyment of life.  But it’s not outside God’s intention or his desire to meet us in the common places of everyday life.  And it’s possible that the same God who makes the blind see finds equal pleasure in increasing our happiness.”(!!!!-my addition)

Do you believe God wants you to be happy? To enjoy life?

p. 176-177   “Everything we create reveals who we are....When our souls are informed by human emotions that reflect the worst in us, we find ourselves creating a world that not even we ourselves would ever want to live in...But when the human spirit is shaped by the highest human virtues...we create a beautiful world.” “...Part of this journey is learning how to turn the water into wine.”

How do you cope in times of stress?  (glass of wine, pray, forgive myself, talk w/child and ask their forgiveness, get advice from someone who can help

p. 182-3  “We teach children convergent thinking and discourage divergent thinking.  Our entire educational system is built on convergent thinking.  Education has been reduced to the organization and dispensing of data...You only have to be a parent to know that children are naturally imaginative and creative and that a huge part of parenting is teaching children to color within the lines.”

How do you encourage your child’s natural imagination and creativity?  Are you inspired to be more creative because of them?  Do you remember childhood dreams you had?  Teach them to think by asking “why”.

p. 184  “Einstein noted, ‘The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.’”

p. 188 “The artisan soul believes in the best in all of us, and therefore refuses to accept anything less for themselves.”

This sentence pretty much summarizes the book.

Do you believe in the best for your child? For yourself?

Start believing at the feet of Jesus:

Luke 10:38-42 “ ³⁸ Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” ⁴¹ But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; ⁴² but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.’”

Spend time with Jesus, even if it’s a few minutes every day.

Prayer

Jesus, may my life be a work of art, and may I always live as an artist at work, in whatever I do, always learning and giving.  Amen.

Limitations are a Gift

The Artisan Soul by Erwin McManus

Ch. 6:  “Canvas: The Context of Art”

Every artist uses limitations to create.

Think of someone who has overcome personal challenges/limitations  (Examples in book are—

Phil Hansen (p153)—Phil was an artist that developed a tremor in his hand.  After being devastated and thinking of quitting, his doctor said “embrace the shake”.  He continued his art, but with different materials.

Joshua Prager (p154)—a prowess in language as a journalist.  Those who hear him, or read his work, may not be aware that after a bus accident in Jerusalem, he was left a hemiplegic at age 19. 

Temple Grandin, born with autism, developed a revolutionary and “humane” method of slaughtering cattle.  (See the movie “Temple Grandin”)

LIMITATIONS

What’s the difference between “limitations” and “boundaries”?  We thought of limitations as immoveable and imposed upon us, and boundaries as moveable and self-imposed.  God can use both for our good.

p. 145  “One of the great misconceptions about creativity is that it only exists where there are no rules, no boundaries, and no limitations.” 

p. 146  “Every medium carries within itself inherent limitations, and every artist also comes with limitations...Creativity not only happens within boundaries and limitations, but in fact it is dependent on those limitations.  The true artist sees boundaries not as the materials denied to us but as the material that allows us to harness and focus our full creative potential.”

Being a mom (our medium) does carry limitations, and we also have limitations.  We are dependent on our limitations because they allow us to focus on this season of our life, and to live it creatively and fully.  (John 10:10 “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”)  We get to decide how to utilize our canvases as tools (i.e., how can I help my son play well, and not just veg in front of the TV? (nothing against TV!)  How can I make nutritious meals?  How can I schedule the day for the best possible outcome?  How can I create a positive environment in my home? etc)

p. 149  “The perceived limitation is in the medium, but the actual limitation is in the artist.  Everyone begins with the same material; it’s what we do with the material that matters...We aren’t limited because we have limitations; we are limited because we haven’t embraced them...What makes you an artist (in this case, our role as a mom) is what you do with the material you have been given with which to create.”

p. 151  “The colors we use to paint our own lives splash all over the souls of those who are close to us.”

Have you observed other moms/grandmas/aunts and noticed that they enjoy their life and role as a mom?  Did you find yourself wanting to be like them?  What is it about them that you want to imitate?  How are they using their limitations to enjoy life?

p. 154  (about Joshua Prager) “I was mesmerized as he spoke, hearing his personal story and his reminder that our limitations are often not what we perceive them to be...limitations are often perceptions and not realities.  It all depends on how we allow those limitations to restrain us or refocus us.”

When we have a bad day (or week!), do we allow the definition of that day/week define our attitude? Our thoughts? Who we are? Who our kids are?  Don’t allow negative thoughts (from self or Satan) to bring us down.  Fight back with truth from scripture.

p. 158  “Even the God of the Scriptures embraces limitations, which is kind of unexpected for a God who is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-present...The creative act has within it inherent limitations.  The moment we create, we establish boundaries and limitations.” 

When God created the universe, one day at a time, each day brought additional limitations.  By the 7^th day, He needed to create man “to fit the material already created.” (p. 160)

Before we became a momma, we were single.  Then we married (a limitation).  Then we had our child (a limitation).  The moment we become a momma, we were redefined with new boundaries and limitations—but every limitation was something to celebrate!

p. 161  “...God’s most creative act, rescuing all humanity, could be accomplished only when he emptied himself of his limitlessness and took on the limitations of being human...He understood that...to save humanity, he would need to become a man...”

p. 162  “...if our lives are to be our masterpieces...these boundaries are not to be despised but to be embraced...”

God embraced his limitations as a human in order to save us.  Thank you, Jesus!

Our limitations in this season will result in creating a beautiful human being with our love. 

Do I find myself resenting my limitations?  How can I embrace them, and mean it?  and experience happiness each day? 

p. 168  “...there is an undeniable relationship between happiness and resilience.  People who enjoy life make life more enjoyable for others.”

What is the height, length and width of art?

p. 165  “...our relationships, accomplishments, and well-being.”

“Everything begins with relationships.  We humans are designed for relationship and find our greatest fulfillment in intimacy.”

How do you experience intimacy with others?  Your husband?  Your children?

p. 166  “...we’re all driven to become.  The human spirit is designed for progress...we should leave the world better than we found it.”

How can I wake up with this attitude and live it each day?  Intentionally try for one act of goodness each day (at least)!

p. 167  “...well-being reflects how we have cared for the health of our soul...Well-being is not a journey toward perfection, but a journey toward wholeness...it is not a destination; it is the realization that the journey itself brings fulfillment and even creates happiness.”

Where are you at on the journey toward wholeness? 

What brings you fulfillment and creates happiness?  Do it—a lot!

Accept my limitations as a time to intentionally focus on my children and husband during this season of life.

The Craft of Motherhood

The Artisan Soul by Erwin McManus

Ch 5:  “Craft: The Elegance of Workmanship”

Creating a masterpiece takes a lifetime of hard work.

Have you ever met someone who is a genius at what they do? Or someone who has natural talent? (ex: Michael Phelps, or any other Olympian medal winner)

HARD WORK

p. 125  “I envy those people who early on identified a singular talent, knew exactly what they were born to do, and spent their entire lives doing it well.  They have a distinct advantage over people like me...Here’s the unifying theme between those who find their unique talent at an early age and those for whom that talent takes a lifetime to develop:  greatness never emerges outside of hard work.”

As a mom, would you say that you work hard at what you do? Haha—to say the least!

Eph. 4:28 says, “He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need.”

p. 130  “We have come to believe that if we have a natural talent, creativity should come easily, especially when we add God to the mix...I propose the exact opposite is true: if God created us to be successful at something, then he has called us to work hard at it.”

p. 131  “Every creative endeavor involves the integration of passion and discipline, the intersection of talent and skill.”

Does creativity come easy to you as a mom? (in the way you live life with your children) 

Do you feel a natural inclination to be a mom? Or do you have to really work at it?  (there’s nothing wrong or right about this answer!)

(Most moms say it is HARD WORK and does not come easy!)

STRONG & COURAGEOUS

p. 131  “David’s admonition to Solomon is not ‘be inspired and creative’ but ‘be strong and courageous.’...The secret to his success and perhaps the secret to ours: to do our greatest work, we must overcome the temptation to be afraid or become discouraged, engaging the creative process with strength and courage.”

p. 132  “The Scriptures see work as a sacred space...Before taking on this great endeavor, he (Solomon) was first to bring together the right people to accomplish such a great task...those are the people we want to build our future on.”

“It takes a village.”  Moms need each other.  We need encouragement, help, tips, good friends (and family) to help us do this mothering thing...and to remind each other that what we’re doing is very important.  We’re not alone in this.  Be intentional about getting together for these times.

I Chron 28:20-12 “Then David said to his son Solomon, “Be strong and courageous, and act; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you until all the work for the service of the house of the Lord is finished.  Now behold, there are the divisions of the priests and the Levites for all the service of the house of God, and every willing man of any skill will be with you in all the work for all kinds of service. The officials also and all the people will be entirely at your command.”

Do you think of yourself as having strength? Courage? Skill? Artistry? Passion? Discipline? 

As a mom—YOU HAVE ALL OF THESE QUALITIES!  Different ones shine at different times.  But, it takes all of these...and more...to accomplish being the best mom you can be.  It takes strength to not take the easy way out; it takes courage to do what is right for your family, even if other families don’t agree; it takes skill to understand your child and know how to love them intentionally; it takes artistry in being flexible for whatever may come your way on any/every day and keeping a positive attitude; it takes passion to do the things you don’t want to do, but you know it’s best for your child; it takes discipline to do all of the above.  All of these are wrapped up in your great love for your child.

Being a mom is probably going to be the biggest creative challenge you’ll ever take on (when you look back on your life), so it’s worth being creative and intentional.

BEAUTY & EXCELLENCE

p. 140-141  “The craftsman understands that beauty and excellence are found in the details.  When it comes to making our lives into works of art, the details are formed by how we choose to live day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.”

“Art becomes a craft when inspiration is expressed in detail.”

“When something matters to us, the details matter.”

How are beauty and excellence in the details of being a mom?

Our words and actions show our love for our children, which are acts of beauty (touching their cheek, stroking their hair, saying “What a good job you did when _____”, rewarding them for something good they did, etc.  When we take the time to step back and look at our day, notice those acts & words of beauty. 

Excellence is seen as we work out the details—the hard work of  doing things the right way, not taking the easy way out. (ex: if our child needs discipline, don’t wave it off, but deal with it).

Is loving well a craft that needs to be honed over time?  YES!  It can be overwhelming to think of loving well during this season of life.  It’s easy to feel that I am not loving well, because of anger, frustration, disappointment, unfulfillment, etc. 

Loving well comes over time as we get to know our child (and husband) and love them in their love language.  It takes time and patience.

Homework:

Page 196 – Craft: The Elegance of Workmanship

The hard work of greatness

Choose one or two items to work on this week!

MOMS,

YOU WORK HARD! 

YOU ARE STRONG! 

YOU ARE COURAGEOUS! 

YOU EXPRESS BEAUTY AND EXCELLENCE IN THE MYRIAD OF DETAILS YOU HANDLE!

BE ENCOURAGED!!!