A Child's Need for Belonging

When Dave (my husband) was 2 years old, his mom brought his little brother home from the hospital.  Dave enjoyed being the firstborn and the only child around receiving attention, so after a few days he asked his mother, “Back to hospital?”  He wanted his mom to take baby brother back to the hospital where he came from!

“Belonging” is a primary emotional need.  It’s the assurance that you are being loved unconditionally for who you are, and accepted just as you are.  Belonging is a critical factor in developing a child’s healthy personality--the sense of being loved and cared for.  We see this love demonstrated by God our Father.  (I John 4:10 – “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us…”)  A child’s first experience of belonging occurs in his/her family.  How beautiful it is to see a dad and mom loving their child—a tangible picture of God the Father’s love for us.  What an impact God has given you as a parent to help your child develop a true sense of personal security and significance.  You have a unique opportunity to give your child a foundation of belonging.  This in turn opens the door for them to develop intimacy in relationships as they grow older.

Think of tangible ways you can both say and show unconditional love and acceptance to your child each day this week.

Jeremiah 31:3  “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”

Hebrews 13:5  “I will never leave you, nor will I ever forsake you.”

Healthy Self-Image

When my girls were young, they loved to play “dress-up”.  I had a collection of ladies dresses, shoes and accessories set aside in a special box for them to play with.  They would dress up like me (mom) and pretend to “play house” for hours.  Today, those are the cutest photos!

As a child, we learn who we are from our parents and others who are in authority in our lives.  We see ourselves as they see us, and form our self-image from them.  Whatever they say, we believe and act that way.  As a parent, we play such an important role in our child’s development, by what we say and do. 

A child’s self-image is comprised of three basic emotional needs:  belonging, worthiness, and competence.  Over the next three weeks, we will delve more into these three foundational needs to developing a healthy personality and self-image.

Parenting is important to God.  He thought it was so important that He even chose to have Jesus born of a woman and parented through infancy and childhood.  The parenting process was a part of helping Jesus grow to manhood.  One day, your child will be an adult, too.  Now is the time to help them acquire a healthy image of themselves.

Eph 5:1-2 (Message)  “Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents.  Mostly what God does is love you.  Keep company with him and learn a life of love.  Observe how Christ loved us.  His love was not cautious but extravagant.  He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.”